From Burnout to Support: Why No Parent Should Do It Alone
It Takes a Village – And That’s Okay
In 2021, I had a burnout. I couldn’t use my brain to work. What I felt deeply, perhaps for the first time in my bones, was that - I, and we, as parents - were not enough to raise our children without a community.
We were just coming out of the pandemic, and isolation had taken its toll. This painful awareness, this knowing that I could no longer be "everything" for my children, pushed me to ask for help and to reach out.
Here in the Netherlands, we are lucky. There are so many organisations that exist to support you when you're feeling down or overwhelmed. I have been so fortunate to receive the support of Home-Start and Stichting Buurtgezinnen. For two years, two amazing families took care of my boys for a few hours each week. That space gave me the time to rest and to study; to begin rebuilding a new life and a new job as I slowly emerged from burnout.
That’s why now, I myself am giving back by volunteering with Home-Start. Because raising young children cannot, and should not, be done by parents alone. We need extended families. And for many of us, especially foreign parents, that extended family is often missing.
A Note About Fear
I know that reaching out can feel terrifying. Many parents fear being judged, labeled, or -worst of all; that asking for help might lead to intervention from child protection services. These fears are real and valid.
But it’s important to know: Home-Start and Stichting Buurtgezinnen are not part of youth protection services. They are voluntary, community-based, and designed to offer support only. Their goal is to strengthen families, not separate them. To offer relief, not judgment.
About These Beautiful Initiatives
Home-Start connects trained volunteers (often parents themselves) with families who need a listening ear, encouragement, or help navigating parenthood. Support happens in the family’s own home, once a week, with a focus on trust and empowerment.
Stichting Buurtgezinnen matches families in need of extra help with a “support family” in their neighborhood. This can look like a few hours of childcare a week, shared meals, or simply having someone to call; a form of modern kinship for families who don’t have relatives nearby.
Children Feel Everything
When we are overwhelmed, stressed, or emotionally unavailable; our children feel it. Even when they can’t name it, they absorb the emotional environment we live in. And this is why it’s okay to break. It’s okay to be vulnerable. It’s okay to ask for help. Asking for support is not weakness. It’s love in action.
If you ever feel like this, exhausted, alone, unsure where to turn, please reach out. I’d be happy to walk with you, help you navigate the system, and find a solution that fits your life. You don’t have to do this alone. 💛
